I sabi sey people dey talk sey hell fire hot, but e be like say Lagos don dey drag position wit hell fire. If hell na hundred, Lagos go be one-fifty! If hell na underground, Lagos na im neighbor. E be like say di kwanta wey we don do for dis life don too much. God say make he add small heat make awa nyash feel am. Di kind heat wey we dey see now ehn, if yu carry egg break for ground for outside, di tin go fry.
Na di kind heat wey be say once yu don baff finish like dis, sweat wey yu just wash komot go start dey komot again. As if dat one no bad reach, as yu open door put leg for outside domot, part two go just start. People just dey waka around wit map of Naija for dia shirt, because no amount of spray wey yu wan put for bodi, di sun no go gree. Shey Lagos sun na yor mate? If to say breeze dey blow, e for better. But no breeze, na just heat straight from sun fiam!
I dey wonder if di wahala wey we dey go tru for dis country neva do ni, wey we go dey add dis kind heat join. I no go blame anybodi wey dey smell. Spray no go fit cover di smell. To go work again, persin go squeeze for inside bus like sardine. Heat from sun go join wit heat from persin bodi. No space to breet.
Di oda day, I no see motor go work, na im I trek go work. As I reach work, see my bodi. Mama Ngozi, wey dey sell tins-dem for front of my office, ask me sey shey persin pour me water. I gat tell am sey na sweat o. Nobodi pour me water. Na Lagos sun do me like dis.
I remember sey wen I dey small, e no hot reach like dis. I no sabi weda sometin don change, or na me no just remember. But I sabi sey dat time for wen I small, I no dey even get heat rashes. Na for dis my big age I kon dey get heat rashes. Craw-craw go just plenty for persin bodi. Na dat one make me know sey sometin don happen. Everybodi dey talk di same tin, sey e don hot pass before. Breeze no too dey like before. Skin don dey dark pass before. Persin gat use dis cream wey dem dey call sunscreen. I no sabi hu dey bring up dis new tins-dem, but I sabi sey my mama no use am. But dis heat now ehn? If yu no use am, na yor bodi go tell yu.
Wen NEPA no bring light like dis, na dusting powder we dey take hold bodi, make cold enter bodi small. E no easy, I dey tell yu. If light come dey, fan go just dey blow hot air. Na life be dis?
Omo! I go like go obodoyinbo. I hear sey der cold. I go like make cold catch me, make e enter my bodi, instead of to dey sweat dis kind sweat wey fit full bucket.
I see for TV one day wen dem dey talk sey global warming na im dey make heat dey. I no sabi all dat one. My own be sey make life just balance. Make sun dey shine, make breeze still dey blow. E no hard.
Writer: Itseme Akede; Illustrator: Oritseshemaye Onakpoya
